This is how I became what I am today

Life was going smoothly..until I did the thing of my desire one day.. I don’t remember the date exactly.. it was an year before. Bangalore, my city of hopes and dreams where I have been living for 7 years. everything was fine. My Profession, Cross-dressing,etc. I was living alone in a 1 RK (Room Kitchen combo which is very famous in Bangalore and a hot choice of accommodation among working professionals.) with ample of privacy. So, I was free to dress anytime. My routine was something like this, I use to dress up in my choice of saree once I come to home after office. Cook for myself and sleep.. morning I will get up and will remain in saree till I prepare breakfast, then take bath,change to male dress and leave to office. Weekends will be full time dressed and do all woman house chores and ofcourse cook my food. Life was going peacefully. Because of my routine, my wardrobe is filled with sarees,chudidhars and patiala salwars as I prefer to dress up in traditional fashion. the only male dresses in my wardrobe are the formal ones that I use for office.Other than that, I dont even have male underwears as I always wear satin panties even to work. Always I use to have shoulder length hair and maintain hairless body by doing full body shave every weekend. It was wonderful..I was living to my heart's content as a female except office hours. Because of my way of life, I have a very less friends as I always maintain some distance with friends and colleagues.That's all about my intro. 

        

It was a long weekend in rainy season last year. Not able to recall the holiday occasion. As usual I returned from office on Friday evening. I started preparing myself specially as it is a long weekend and I'll be living as woman for full three days. I bought 2 dozens of new bangles, some new jewels,jasmine flowers,a pair of heavy earrings, a pair of sandals and some new makeup stuffs while returning from office from the regular shops where  I purchase my feminine stuffs. It was around 7 PM when I reached Electronics City. that where I stay. I bought some parathas as I was in no mood to cook. Reached home by 7.30. Placed the newly bought items in shelf, relaxed myself in sofa for a good 10 minutes. Took a bath in hot water.. Wow.. it was such a relieving feel after all the office hours and travel.. I felt so fresh and energetic...

        I tied my towel at breast level like a girl as usual. Reached my wardrobe and had a longish look to choose what to wear..After 10 mins, I took a pink saree with nice border work and the matching blouse. I normally prefer 3/4 hand blouse as it will give a nice feminine look. Then took a black bra and worn it.. its a heavenly feel after 9 hours in those restricting male cloths..I felt the dash of femininity upon wearing the bra itself. It nicely held my breasts. Yes, I have real breasts naturally. I was teased for the same all along in school and college. Back to dressing.. I then fastened the pink petticoat around my waist. Lovingly caressed my petticoat and felt my smooth skin underneath..it was ecstatic... then I wore the blouse and then draped the saree elegantly..sarees are girl's heaven I must say.. It’s so comfortable and elegant. I then made up my face, wore my jewels. Left my hair loose and used hair extensions. I always use hair extensions as I have shoulder length real hair. it will give me real long hair looks..One done, I saw myself in mirror.. and wow...I started loving myself once again...this is how I looked mates..

I was too convinced about my looks.. I thought that no one will recognize me as male. It gave me immense courage that day. I took the bold step. locked my house, started walking down the streets enjoying my femininity. swaying my hands and hips like a natural lady.. wow it was heavenly to walk alone as a lady in saree at night.. the sweet sound of my payals and bangles, and the mesmerizing sound of my saree moving in between thighs..amazing.. i was lost in my world of femininity. Sunk deep inside feminine feel, lost myself and reached some unknown road in dark. "aye nillu di", came a harsh voice from behind which brought me into reality. I turned back nervously. There, standing 4 men under influence of alcohol along with their scorpio car. I started sweating profusely. they all looked too big and looked like goondas. They walked near me. I was frozen in fear. I felt wetness in my armpit, hip areas because of my sweating. I immediately started to run to escape from them holding my saree above knee level to run fast. "aye nillu di", they shouted and chased me. it was like a deer running for life from 4 wild animals.. Finally, one of the four managed to catch me. he hugged me so tight that I don't escape again. by this time, all the other three also reached me..As I tried to escape, they were angry on me and started beating me. I started crying like anything..it was a deserted tar road. Tone guy unzipped his pant and exposed his organ which was so tight and big.."sappu di(suck it bitch)", he said. I was frozen; I never did such things, that too in a public road.

           I don't know from where I got the courage, I bite his penis in a flash of a second.. He started screaming, I again started to run, with more speed this time.they were chasing me more furiously now. This time, another guy managed to reach me, he inserted his leg in between mine while I was running, I lost my balance and fell on the road. as I was running very fast, I fell down with great force because of which, I got hurted in my knees, elbows,etc. Before I compose myself, all the four started to tear my blouse while I was lying in the road itself. one guy removed his shirt and tied my hands.My whole body started shivering. the guy who got bitten by me was too furious. he started beating me with his belt all over my body. i started jumping in pain. another guy gave me a tight kick with his boots in my mouth. I started bleeding from mouth. their beatings made me weak and weak further. They were so angry on me and was beating me with no idea of stopping.

       

At one point of time, they stopped. but i was not in a position to stand or move. I was bleeding through my nose and mouth. my saree was totally messed. my boobs were exposed and blouse was torn. they made me lay on the road. it was hurting as my breast was brushing against the tar road directly. they started raping me through my ass one by one on the road itself. I was screaming like anything. But its only my voice echoed in the whole area. No sign of any human activity in that area.. "naaye, yevlo thimiru irundha yenodadha kaduchu iruppe?! (bitch, how dare you bite my penis?)", shouted the guy who got bite by me.I was totally out of energy and lying in the road without any movements.. the other three made me stand up. that guy came in front of me. "machi, indha ali oda kottai ya nasukku da (mate, crash the nuts of this transgender)" said one of the three men holding me..He came in front of me. With full force, he kicked in between my legs. "aaaaaahhhhhh", I felt the pain of my lifetime. I literally felt my balls crashing and bursting. Before I compose myself, one more kick. I cried like anything. now, all the three left me.. I was standing on my own, with just enough energy to stand.I immediately placed both of my hands in between my legs out of pain. The guy who kicked me went some 3,4 steps back, with great force, he approached me and gave a tight kick in my stomach.That's it. I was thrown for some good 10 feet distance and fell on a bush side by.They dragged me to the road again.

        I was moaning in great pain all over my body. They started doing the unimaginable. All the four started to kick my pubic area with force. "aahhhh, aiyo amma, pls vittudunga, aiyo valikkidhu", none of my words were audible to them. they continued to kick. I slowly lost my consciousness. it became full dark. Before closing my eyes, this is what I heard the last. "idha kondu poi akka kitta poduvom".

to be contd..